


Come Back to Me

by dontworrylemon



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Amnesia, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Mind Control, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-01-21 13:48:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1552643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontworrylemon/pseuds/dontworrylemon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six weeks after the attack on New York, Darcy Lewis finds herself a prisoner of S.H.I.E.L.D with no memory as to how or why she's there. Diagnosed with amnesia and unable to answer questions asked by both herself and S.H.I.E.L.D, Darcy finds herself alone for the first time in her life with only one question on her mind.</p><p>Who the hell is Loki?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first fic on this site!  
> I'll try to keep updates fairly regular but I cannot promise a posting schedule, right now I have the first three chapters written so expect the second one sometime next week.
> 
> Enjoy!

I am alone and I am falling.

I am alone and I am failing.

It is no accident the words are so similar, so close, like brother and sister both sharing the same womb. One only has to say the words to know how close together they really are.

Two words, two different meanings but they describe my situation so perfectly it was as if the words were made just for me and me alone.

I am alone. But at the same time surrounded by millions and millions of people, I know they are there; they however have no idea who I am or where I am. Aren’t they lucky?

Outside my heavily padded cell…they call it a room but we both know the difference…I can hear tiny little murmurs if I listen carefully enough. They talk of me like they don’t know how close I am, like they don’t know how dangerous I can be.

I have been here for almost two weeks yet I know nothing of the outside world, I don’t know if the city survived or hell, if anyone survived. They took everything I had on me, my iPod, a few stray bills stacked in my pocket, and the ring. That was the first thing they took.

I sit here now staring at the blank white wall in front of me trying to remember everything I can from the last few months. It’s not much but it’s all I have in this world now, a few broken memories, a few broken bones, a small fractured soul.

I don’t even know what time it is, I don’t know whether it is day or night, I don’t even know what day of the week it is. I only know that I have been here for two weeks because I keep track of the meals I have been given. They try to keep my meals erratic, giving me them at different times during the day, as if I don’t know how to count.

They tell me it’ll wear off soon, maybe in a couple more days they tell me I will be back to my old self. The agents and doctors they send to me tell me this in a small, broken voice like I am some small wounded bird who needs constant reassuring that soon I will be able to fly.

Except unlike the bird, I know the difference. I will never be able to fly again.

I can hear them outside now, louder now than they were ever before. Something has changed, something is coming. He is coming.

I close my eyes and try to remember the last time I saw his face, it feels like years have passed. Maybe they have? How long have I been here?

I try to focus on his face, his eyes, lips, everything, but it’s like looking underwater. The image is blurry and feels like the harder I concentrate the faster I lose him. I try and try and try some more to focus on it, to focus on anything but my vision blurs faster than I can stabilize it.

Something is wrong.

A high pitched scream fills the air and it takes me a moment to realize the scream came directly from me. The next few moments are blurry and busy, I hear people rush in and out of the small cramped cell, they speak in low hushed voices as is afraid at what I might hear.

“It’s happening, the spell is unwinding we need to get her stabilized now.” One of the agents from beside me says, it’s the only clear voice I can hear amidst the crowd.

What does she mean spell?

The next few moments are an even bigger blur, voices come and go, screams are almost ripped straight from my throat, I feel a sharp pinch near my elbow and can only assume it came from a needle.

What are they doing to me?

I feel myself come undone as easy as a tethered thread. My head pounds and I feel like every atom and molecule in my body is being ripped to shreds and put back together, but in the wrong order. Everything feels jumbled and wrong and out of place. It’s as if I am being unmade.

It’s over before it ever really begins.

The voices stop, the screams stop, the pounding stop, everything…stops.

It takes awhile before I can see again but when I do it’s like the pieces are finally back in the correct order. Taking a deep breath I slowly roll onto my side and look out of the small port window and onto the city skyline…has that always been there? Outside, it is twilight, my favourite time of day.

I can’t help the smile that forms on my lips no more then I can stop the deep hearted chuckle that comes from deep within my body.

       

I have fallen.

I am no longer alone.

I am no longer failing.

I am home.

           

I am Darcy Lewis.

And I have landed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy Lewis was all alone...three days before Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I said you'd have the next chapter up for you in a week but since the first one was a bit short (and this one is too) I thought I'd give you both as a little treat!
> 
> See you next week!

It was three days before Christmas and for the first time in years, Darcy Lewis was alone. No, not the _oh my friends just went out into town for the day they should be back soon_ , alone but the actual _my friends have left me all alone three days before Christmas and now I have nowhere else to go,_ alone.

It was pitiful really, but Darcy couldn't help the feeling of loneliness and self loathing that crept up in the back of her mind. She tried not to blame herself though, growing up with five older brothers and two parents all under one roof had ensured her that she would never be alone. Even when everyone was out of the house (something that was very rare, Darcy could count on one hand the times that that had happened) she never felt lonely but she knew that her family would come back to her.

This time she wasn't so sure.

Jane Foster, her best friend and boss had left for Stark Tower only a few days ago with knowledge of new data that would help rebuild the Bifrost that had broken only a year before. Jane had been working on the Bifrost and other outer worldly physics stuff (okay so even though she had been working as Jane’s lab assistant for the past year, she still had no idea what exactly she did) so when she finally got new data that could reconnect this world with Asgard, she jumped on the next plane and was there in a few short hours. Darcy couldn't blame her though, if she had some super crazy hot god as her boyfriend she'd walk to New York if that's what it took to see him again. She had sent her friend a few texts and even left her a message on her cell shortly after she left but seeing as Hot Norse God Boyfriend took top priority right now, she didn't expect to hear from Jane any time soon.

If having Jane gone wasn't bad enough, Erik Selvig (both Darcy and Jane’s mentor) had been reassigned by S.H.I.E.L.D to some top secret location earlier this month and since he was forbidden from communicating with anyone outside of S.H.I.E.L.D’s select few, they hadn't heard from him since.

Darcy Lewis was all alone.

 

* * *

            

It had taken her almost ten minutes to make it up to the roof but after all that work, it was worth it. The roof of the labs building was never meant to be a permanent hangout spot but the beautiful view it gave to the desert was too tempting to pass up. Darcy, Selvig and Jane had spent many insomniac nights up here staring at the stars and occasionally helped themselves to a few beers. The lab had always been in Jane's family (both her parents were also scientists and owned many, many, many labs all across the country) so they didn't have to worry about the land owners complaining about the small campfire they set up, or worry about their safety deposit after the occasional fire broke out that may or may not have been Darcy's fault... Back then life had been so simple, no Thor, no Bifrost, no S.H.I.E.L.D., nothing but the three of them and a few warm beers.

It had been the best year of Darcy’s life.

The backpack cooler she brought up with her seemed to weigh a ton but she kept it on her back till she could get the lawn chairs unfolded and small fire pit set up, after she had done all that she gently placed her bag down against the ledge and sat back to enjoy the night sky’s view before starting a fire. She was glad the lab was on the edge of the small town they (temporarily) called home, it gave her a better view of the stars and moon, sometimes on really clear night she would sneak Jane's old telescope up here and study the constellations that she grew up reading and learning about as a kid.

It was beautiful, truly it was, the way the stars seemed to gleam and shine against the black fabric sky.  It reminded Darcy of a quilt her mother had made her for her eighth birthday, the soft black fabric was decorated with small yellow buttons and white decorative pearls. She still had that blanket hidden under her bed, sometimes when she would wake from a nightmare she would pull it close and inhale its childhood scent and soon be lured to sleep.

This time a blanket couldn’t help her.

It took her almost a full five minutes to get a fire started and going and only another five more for the hot dogs she brought to cook. Leaning back on the chair, Darcy takes a bite out of the slightly burnt and dry hot dog and pulls out a bottle of her favourite beer from the cooler and enjoys the simplicity of her life right now.

Perhaps if she knew of the chaos to come she’d learn to enjoy it a little more.

 

* * *

 

He landed with a hard _thud_ and although he hit the ground quite hard, he managed to do so without causing too much damage to his body.

Rolling onto his back, Loki stared up at the dark sky full of bright white and yellow stars. All his life he had been staring at different stars, different planets and different constellations but from this view it all looked the same.

He waited a few minutes before trying to get up from the ground and even when he found the strength to it still took a few moments for him to stand up on both feet. The fall had taken more out of him then he had thought.

So this was Midgard. It was…quaint, he supposed. Nothing compared to Asgard and perhaps a bitter better than Jotunheim, but this was only his first impression. It looked a lot different from the many tapestries Frigga and Odin had shown him growing up. He had grown up learning all about this realm and many of the others, it was after all, a King’s duty to know the realms he ruled.

The thought of Odin sitting on his precious gold throne being adored by all seven realms made him sick. That vicious lie he had been fed his whole life sent his mind reeling and sent a rush of bile into his throat. Loki turned his head and spat at the ground, this was beneath him he was a prince of Asgard! He should have warriors or faithful minions for this sort of job, yet here he was; all alone.

He had to start somewhere.

If his calculations were right he would be approximately fifty miles away from the nearest town and about twenty five miles from the site where Thor originally landed last year. Or perhaps it had been longer, or maybe quite the opposite? It’s hard to tell time from where he’s been. If his memory is correct, time on Midgard moved much faster than on Asgard, something he would have to get used to. And fast. He was already wasting too much time just standing here. He could hide himself from Heimdall easily enough, as he had been doing for years, but was much too weak and exhausted to hide from the proper authorities that must have by now been alerted of his presence.

From the east he could already see a bright orange glow that indicated a brand new day. He had to move fast, he couldn't be found here in his Asgardian clothing and he was too drained to change into clothes more appropriate from this realm or even transport himself a mere fifty miles. As it was he barely had enough magic in him to contain the scepter deep within his soul, but he knew that he had to protect it with everything he had on him. It was bad enough he didn't yet have the Tesseract in his possession but his new  _friends_ had given him exactly three weeks to procure it, a task he promised (with a sick, twisted grin) he could deliver in two. Though he may be the God of Lies and Mischief, Loki knew this was one thing he could not mess up, not after everything had happened.

Taking one last deep breath, Loki turned towards the sun and headed on his way.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy tries to be the hero but things don't go as planned.

It’s barely noon when Darcy finally stirs from unconsciousness.

With a groan, she reaches up and stretches her much cramped legs and arms out over the small lawn chair she fell asleep in. She doesn’t remember falling asleep…or drinking almost a full flask of strawberry whipped vodka (her favourite), or the half dozen beer cans lying around the roof. She hasn’t drunk like that since she left college, the throbbing and pounding in her head reminded her why she doesn't do that anymore.

It takes her almost a full five minutes to stand up and get her balance and almost another ten to gather up the few things she brought up with her and put them back in her backpack. It wasn’t much, a few blankets, her iPod, her speakers and her cell phone, she never expected to stay the night up here but then again she never expected to drink that much either.

Checking her phone she’s surprised to see three missed called, one from her mother and two from Jane. Always jumping to conclusions, the worst ones she might add, Darcy quickly dials her voicemail and waits to hear her best friend’s voice.

“Oh hey Darce,” the scientist’s voice on the other end is calm but Darcy can tell just by the way she sounds that she’s stressed and perhaps over worked. “I’m just calling to return your messages…I got them I just haven’t had the time to get back to you, sorry. You understand, you’ve always understood. Anyways, um…the flight was good! Tony Stark really knows how to treat his guests, I should probably be thanking Pepper not him, but oh well. New York is fine there’s a bunch of snow on the ground and its pretty cold I’m actually starting to miss the heat. Call me back when you can…I miss you.”

A beep sounds and the automated voice asks if she’d like to delete or keep the message, she hits the four button before the voice can finish the sentence. She doesn’t bother to listen to her mother’s messages, they’re always the same she could recite what her mother would say before she even heard it.

“Fuck, Jane why did you do this to me?” she asks in a quiet whisper to the phone.

She slipped her phone back into her pocket and quickly distracts herself with gathering the last of her things and starts making the descent on the ladder before the ever present tears could fall from the corner of her eyes. She was Darcy Lewis, she was the strongest person she knew in her life yet all it took for her to send her crumbling to bits is a simple thirty second voicemail. She was pathetic.

The walk to the trailer she shares with Jane is roughly a fifteen minute walk from the lab but something (the almost overwhelming sense of nausea) tells Darcy that she won’t make it that far before either a) collapsing from a mixture of dehydration and exhaustion or b) spewing her guts all over the hot, dry, desert sand. Seriously it was almost Christmas for Christ sakes, why was it so flipping hot!?

Whatever, it was already noon and Darcy needed a shower, a really juicy cheeseburger and maybe a six hour nap so finally taking a few deep breaths she turns on her heels and heads towards the west side of town where the comfort of her bed was…that and her new favourite friend; air conditioning.

She doesn't make it far before she hears the sound of whimpering coming from the other side of the building.

“Hello?” she called out, noticing how scratchy and rough it sounded for the first time that day. “Is anyone there?”

The whimpering continued this time it sounded closer.

Dropping her bag against the wall, Darcy walked slowly and carefully towards the source of the sound. It was something she normally wouldn’t do without the safety of her taser and maybe her back up pepper stray but it was the middle of the day and serial killers were less likely to attack in the middle of the day. Right?

The closer she got, the louder the whimpering got. Thought she wasn’t sure why she could feel adrenaline and a touch of fear hit her deep in her stomach, the same two feelings she got when Jane drove them straight through that storm cloud and into Thor. The thought didn’t make her an less uneasy if anything it made her feel worse, she didn’t want to see another Norse god hanging out around here anymore Thor had left behind a mess that was still being cleaned up to this day.

What she was much worse than hitting Thor with a car.

Half leaning- half slouching against the wall sat a man who was quite obviously in a bit of pain. His face was hidden by his rather long and greasy black hair and Darcy couldn’t help notice that wasn’t the only thing hidden, his entire body was hidden under, what looked like, piles and piles of black and green leather, the only thing that wasn’t covered were his hands and face.

“Hello?” she asked again, his voice shaky with fear. “Can you hear me? Do you need help?”

No reply, she wasn’t exactly holding her breath for one either.

“Dude please don’t be dead, seriously a dead guy is not what I need right now! I’m going to call for help, alright?”

She already has the numbers 911 dialed into her phone when the she feels a hand on her arm.

“Don’t,” he says, his voice is as rough as sand paper and sends shivers down her spine despite the heat.

“Dude, you need help!” Darcy replies after a second, then in a lower voice says, “you look like you’re on deaths door! Let me call for help.”

“I don’t need help from you!”

The strangers voice catches Darcy off guard, it’s much more harsh and if being stabbed with a dagger had a sound, that would be it. His deep voice sends a spike of fear deep down into the pit of her stomach yet and for a second she fears the worst, the thought of her being the hero for once in her life saving some poor stranger who’s possibly dying in the desert are quickly replaced with thoughts of said stranger robbing her blind, stabbing her and leaving her to die all alone out here in the desert. All that from a short incomplete sentence. Yikes.

“Listen!” she says a little too forcefully, “you look like shit and since you’re not letting me call for help I’m just trying to help you! Come into this building here with me and we’ll get you fixed up in no time then you can be on your merry way and we can forget this happened, alright?”

She waits for him to say something snarky back to her but instead of a reply she gets a slow head nod from the man, it’s all the confirmation she needs.

She doesn’t wait for him to change his mind instead she reaches out and grabs him by the collar of whatever-the-hell he is wearing and with a very hearty pull, pulls him up close to her in turn sending him crashing into her. He’s a lot heavier than he looks but looks can be deceiving and that he is; deceiving. She barely knows the man she’s currently half dragging into Jane’s lab yet when she looks down onto his face she can’t help but feel a tiny pang of sadness, he looks lonely and it takes one to know one.

It takes her almost a full five minutes to move him a short distance of twenty feet but he’s so heavy and she’s still hung-over so balance isn’t her strong suit right now but with one final tug she’s finally able to get this new stranger into the lab, into the back room and onto the small cot that Jane uses sometimes when she’s pulling all-nighters. The cot is a little small for him, his feet dangle over the edge and his right arm won’t seem to stay on the bed instead choosing to rest lightly against the cold tiled floor, but it’s a bed and it’ll do. For now anyways.

Whatever was remaining of her hangover was gone and was replaced with a newfound energy from that little excursion and with this newfound energy also came a new feeling, a feeling she hadn’t felt in a long, long time. She was feeling brave. Staring down at her small victory she noticed for the first time that the man’s eyes were shut and his mouth slack, he must have passed out or fallen asleep. Either way couldn’t help, rest was good for the body and the soul. Now what to do with his heavy clothing?

Fifteen minutes pass before she gives up on trying to help him out of his-costume? Whatever the hell he’s wearing, he must be some sort of cosplay nerd or something like that because who the hell wears this in the middle of the dessert? Or in general? The only thing she was able to get off him was his boots and even then there as a struggle to get those things off, it’s like everything was sealed to his body with duct tape and crazy glue. Never one to give up on a challenge Darcy makes her way out back into the lab and into the cabinet where she knows they keep a pair of sturdy old metal scissors thinking that if she can’t get him out she’ll cut him out.

She’s nearing the cabinet when a bright blue blinking light catches her attention on the other side of the room.

“That’s not right,” she says to herself. This is the side of the lab where Selvig put all of Jane’s old astrophysicist stuff after Thor left. It’s the same stuff they used to find him.

Pulling out the hand-held device that looks nothing more like a slightly supped up GPS Darcy notices not only the blinking light but several more coming from machines all around her that she never noticed before, they all blink different colours and at different intensities but she knows what they all mean. Something, or someone, has crossed into their world. The device in her hands only confirms her suspicions listing off several possible coordinates where something could have landed. The first one is only a few miles outside of town.

Shit.

The man- the armour, the look of him, the exhaustion- suddenly everything is very clear to her.

She’s harboring an alien in the closet size bedroom.

Darcy wastes no time reaching into her back pocket fishing out her phone to dial Jane’s number. Her fingers are shaky and she has to delete the numbers more than once she’s shaking that bad but finally after what feels like an eternity she gets the number she’s memorized correct and presses the green phone button.

“I’m in trouble,” she says to no one but herself.

“Quite right too,” comes a voice behind her.

She turns to run but is one second too late. Something that resembles a gold dagger flashes before her eyes but he’s so fast and the golden glare that comes off it blinds her for a split second. But it’s too late anyways. The dagger is inside her before she can register it, it breaks through her skin like it was nothing but paper and she can feel it slicing and stretching her open. He does this slowly, almost intimately. The pain is enough to send her crashing to the floor, to send her screaming bloody murder, to do anything but all she can do is lock her eyes onto his unnaturally bright blue ones and wait for what is surely her death to happen.

Her body goes cold. Her pulse stops. She’s frozen.

Yet she feels on fire.

She feels the stranger tip the dagger up slightly as if making sure to get the right angle. It hurts but not as much as before. She’s numb. She can feel herself slipping yet she’s too weak to fight it. Let it happen, nothing much matters now.

She can hear a small cry coming from the ground. She still can’t avert her gaze but she’d know that voice anywhere; it was Jane and she was calling- no not calling- screaming her friends name.

Her last thought is of Jane and Selvig, her new family. Families are supposed to stand up for each other and protect each other yet she can’t help but think that she’s betrayed them. It’s not a pleasant last though but it’ll do.

A single tear slides down her cheek as she crumbles to the floor.

Her eyes are still open when she hits the ground but it doesn’t matter, everything goes black anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hopefully you enjoyed this much longer chapter!  
> Sorry for the delay I just recently moved so things have been a little hectic!  
> The first few chapters were a little boring but now we can finally get the ball rolling!
> 
> All mistakes are mine.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Loki, what have you done.” Her voice is small, almost angelic but it burns his heart all the same. 
> 
> “Not now, Darcy, go to bed.”
> 
> It’s the first time he’s said her name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this chapter is a little vague on details but all will be revealed soon, hope you enjoy!

 

“Will you ever stop treating me like a child!?” Darcy yells from her spot on the couch.

 

“I’ll stop treating you like one when you stop behaving like one.” Loki responds in his usual cool manner. It only makes her angrier.

 

It had been nearly two months and still Loki treated Darcy like a small child who was barely able to hold her own head up without somehow fucking it up. It wasn’t her fault that they had to move locations yet again making it the ground total of seventeen times in two months.

 

“I just wanted to see where we were! You never let me out I need to see the outside once in awhile, I’m not a vampire like you.”

 

“We’ve talked about this, it’s dangerous and you never know who is coming after you-after us.”

 

Rolling her eyes Darcy lets out an extremely loud sigh and falls over onto her side so she’s lying horizontal on the plush leather couch. They’ve had this conversation so many times before Darcy can’t help but feel extremely annoyed by the thick skull of her companion. As much as she hated to admit it he did have a point.

 

It had been two months since she went _missing_ from Jane’s lab in New Mexico and since then she’s been on almost every missing persons list in the country, including some she’s sure reach past international waters. She’s not exactly sure on the details of her missing persons file but from what she gathered from Loki basically every camera is being monitored in hopes that she turns up. She doesn’t know why she’s so valuable in their eyes, people go missing all the time, big deal, but it’s only when Loki tells her his plan does she finally start to realize.

 

Loki’s only told her his story in small chunks but she’s heard enough to paint her own picture. He is Loki of Asgard and he is burdened with glorious purpose (she can’t help the chills that go through her body when he tells her that the first time, or the second, or anytime after that really) and he has been sent to Earth with a very important mission: to save it. He was chosen out of all the other realms warriors and fighters to save her blue planet, a task he does not take lightly but also a task he must do secretly, hence the whole avoiding society thing. He’s been so busy with his plans that she only sees him late in the afternoon for a few hours before he disappears again only to reemerge the next day to repeat his schedule. Darcy knows there’s more to the story but she doesn’t ask she knows how annoyed he gets with her many questions. She can’t help it really, she’s naturally curious.

 

As if sensing her annoyance Loki gets up from his spot across the room and treads towards the now upside down Darcy. They’ve grown so comfortable with each other that all Loki has to do is grab her left shoulder and like she weighs nothing lifts her up so she was sitting up right again. Once she’s upright he takes his place beside her and turns his head to face her.

 

“Are you angry with me?”

 

She shakes her head. “No, I get it I really do I’m just lonely that’s all.”

 

Loki sighs and leans back against the back of the couch and waits for the warmth of Darcy to fill the cold spot to his right. As if an unspoken rule between them, Darcy does exactly what she always does when he gets this close and turns towards him gently placing her head on his shoulder. He’s cold, he’s always cold but tonight he is worse than usual. She wants to bring it up, to tell him he feels colder then the frozen yogurt treat she so desperately misses but she bites her tongue, too many times it has betrayed her, not tonight and certainly not now.

 

“Soon things will be different, I know you miss your kin but you must know by now how important it is that I complete my mission. You know I cannot achieve this without your help,” he hesitates a second before placing his cold hand on her warm knee, the heat all but burns his skin. “All will be well.”

 

“I’m sorry I broke the window,” she whispers breaking the silence, “I’m sorry we had to move again, I know how much you liked our last place.”

 

“I liked it because you liked it,”

 

It’s a small thing for him to say that but it makes Darcy smile all the same. His compliments come more frequent and it does not escape her eye that he no longer scowls when she enters a room. It’s nothing more than a small victory in a strangers heart but considering when they first started together Loki could barely stand to be in the same room as her… it’s the small victories that make life meaningful.

 

And this, to Darcy is meaningful.

 

“I only liked it because the bed was huge, this one’s not too shabby either.” She lets herself laugh and pretends it doesn’t bother her when Loki doesn’t return the gesture. She lifts her head up from his shoulder and pulls herself away quickly readjusting herself so she faces him, her legs tucked up under her. “Will you tell me where we were though? I mean we aren’t going back so it won’t make a difference, will it?”

 

It’s the only complaint she ever dared voice to her captor. It’s something Loki told her straight from day one when she regained consciousness in the lab after she brought Loki in from the desert. His voice still rang clear as day in her head.

 

_“I am going to take you with me, do you understand? And from you I will hear no complaints, no arguments, nothing of the sort.” She nods her head not quite knowing why. “And one last thing, you must never ask me what I am doing and you must never ask me where we are or where we are going.”_

She kept her word on the first part, aside from knowing very little about him saving the world she had never asked him about it. She doesn’t know how he plans to do it, when he plans to do it and why exactly the world needs saving but she has total complete faith in him. She laughs sometimes when she thinks about it, sheer dumb luck she calls it.

 

“Do you really want to know?” Loki asks in his usual boring tone. Darcy nods her head in agreement. “We were on an island in the middle of the ocean if you must know. Don’t ask me the name of it, I can see the question forming in your head, I did not bother to learn the name as I do not plan to return to it every again and neither should you. There, that should suffice you for the night. Now go to bed, it is getting late and the later you stay up the more annoying you get, off you go.”

 

A small chuckle emerges from behind Darcy’s lips and after a minute she finally plucks herself up from the comforts of the couch and begins to head on her way, but before she does she turns slightly on her heels and stares back at Loki.

 

“You know I can’t sleep,” her voice is barely louder than a whisper but she knows he can hear her, he always can.

 

He doesn’t say anything back to her, he just stares forward towards the blank wall that Darcy has been complaining about ever since they got here, _too plain! Where are the colours!?_ She tells him one day, it has not slipped his mind since.

 

It’s not the first time he’s hearing this, in fact it’s not even close to being the fifth or tenth time. She knows he did something to her that night in the lab, she knows that she’s changed; she just doesn’t know what truly happened. She doesn’t know of the spell coursing through her veins, pumping in her blood, she doesn’t know the effects it has on her and to be honest it kills him a little inside. Part of him wants to tell Darcy of the spell he put her under, of the things he did to her but perhaps if she’d knew she wouldn’t want to stay here with him anymore and he can’t have that. Not now, perhaps not ever. From that day forward in that lab she was his and it’s something they both know.

 

“Try and sleep,” Loki says quietly, “have one of your warm beverages you crave so much, that might do you some good.”

 

She considers his offer but shakes her head. “It’s too late for coffee or tea,” she pauses. “will you tell me a story? I like your stories,”

 

“Not tonight, try and sleep through the night for once, tomorrow is a big day for the both of us.”

 

She nods and takes her leave, as she turns and walks away Loki can’t help the bitter taste of disappointment that rises in his throat. He waits fifteen minutes, more than enough time for Darcy to get ready and into bed before he dare get in contact with the Chitauri.

 

He closes his eyes and waits for the all too familiar pressure to surround his head before he dare open them once more. Snow falls around him and the wind howls in his ear, its dark, cold yet it’s comfortable for him. He doesn’t complain.

 

“You dare show your face after all this time,” a familiar voice says.

 

“We still have a deal don’t we?”

 

The leader of the Chitauri nods his head once then proceeds to reach out as if to grab Loki instead only finding empty air. He smiles a sick, sinister smile and begins to lightly trace out a pattern into the rocky cliffs beside him. “You’ve wasted my time on a task you assured would take no time at all, if I were wise I would take back that Scepter I entrusted upon you and give it to someone who could get the job done.”

 

“The portal is not ready it would collapse upon itself before I could even get close to the Cube. If I had more time-“

 

“You have had nothing but time! Too much time is your problem, Loki son of Odin and you would be wise to use what little time you had left. You seem to have forgotten the arrangements of our deal a deal that was and still is very time sensitive. You have failed me Loki for the last time, after tonight I can only imagine you won’t hesitate so long with your next orders.”

 

Before Loki has time to react the Chitauri leader jumps forward and grabs him by the base of his throat and with a strong push hurls him backwards up against a sharp jagged edge of the cliff. Despite the thick heavy battle armour he wears now he can still feel the sharp edges dig into his skin and slice and cut at him. The throw takes him at surprise but not so much as the two sets of hands currently grabbing at him with such intensity that he’s sure he’ll find bruises there come the morning.

 

“What are you doing!” he yells frantically as the hands throw him up against the side of the cliff once more knocking the wind right out of him. Fear, panic and adrenaline all course through his body but there is little he can do about that now, the two Chitauri to his side have him pinned down tight and no matter how hard he struggles their grips never lessen.

 

The leader reaches forward and with one shaky hand places it roughly against the side of Loki’s face. It’s no more than a simple slap but for some reason it stings more than a thousand knife wounds to the abdomen. He knows the scream lodged from his throat is a sign of weakness but the pain radiating from body is much too intense and too much to bare.

 

“What’s the best way to torture a Frost Giant?” the rough voice whispers right into Loki’s ear. “Heat.”

 

It’s then when the screams truly begin.

 

* * *

 

 

Loki opens the portal directly from the Chitauri. It takes him directly to S.H.I.E.L.D’s secret base right in the heart of the foundation only several feet away from the Cube. He takes it easily enough despite his physical and mental weakness, he even manages to take a few new people with him to secure into his army.

 

The portal collapses on itself less than five minutes into his mission, it doesn’t matter anyways he already has what he needs.

 

It takes him two hours to get back home to Darcy. She’s waiting for him in the front hall with tears in her eyes like she knows what’s happened.

 

“Loki, what have you done.” Her voice is small, almost angelic but it burns his heart all the same.

 

Every fiber in his body wants to run to her, wants to wrap his arms around her small fragile body, he wants to feel the comfort that only she can give him especially after all this that has happened, but right now it might not be enough.

 

“Loki,” Darcy whispers again this time louder.

 

“Not now, Darcy, go to bed.”

 

It’s the first time he’s said her name.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again what may seem confusing will eventually be revealed later.
> 
> All mistakes are mine.

 

The lab downstairs scares her with its low lighting and dingy moldy appearance, the portal she has to use to get down there makes her feel nauseous and gives her a headache for several minutes afterwards and the people make her uneasy but it’s the only place Loki goes now and wherever he goes she follows.

 

Today is no different from any of the other days except unlike most days Loki wasn’t trying so hard to avoid Darcy. At first it was painfully obvious like the way he’d disappear via magic the second she walked into the same room or the way he’d block the portal to the lab so she couldn’t use it without his help. Ever since that night something between them had shifted. He barely looks at her anymore and when he does he looks away quickly before she can meet his eyes, he no longer surprises her in the mornings with her favourite banana French toast and he no longer lets her get close to him. It’s only small things that seem stupid and childish when she thinks about it but like she’s said before…it’s the little things.

 

She’s halfway down the hall when she feels a rough hand grab her shoulder and pull her back.

 

“You’re not supposed to be down here,” Clint says in his typical authoritative filled voice. “Loki’s orders,”

 

Darcy shoves away from him quite forcefully and continues on her way down the tunnel. “Yeah right, if he didn’t want me down here he would have blocked the portal which as you can see he clearly did not.”

 

“Darcy-“

 

“No don’t start with the _oh Darcy!_ Thing on me alright I’ve had enough of it for the past two weeks, alright? I just want to see Loki then I’ll leave you guys to whatever you’ve been doing this whole time.”

 

“Darcy we both know-“

 

“No you know!” She yells at him after turning around rather quickly to face him. “And everyone knows! Everyone but me knows and it’s driving up the fucking wall!” She’s inches away from his face now but she keeps coming up closer and closer. “I’ve been here much longer than anyone else yet I’m the only one who doesn’t know anything!”

 

“Well maybe there’s a reason for that,”

 

The look Darcy gives Barton could be considered lethal if it were made to anyone but him. Since he and the others came here Darcy had been spending more time out of her room and downstairs in the lab chatting with Selvig while he worked (it was nice to see a friendly face after all this time) but mainly she had been spending her hours away from Loki in the small training room upstairs in the house that Loki had set up for himself awhile ago.

 

It was hard to convince Barton to train her but after a couple minutes of nagging and an offer of a large pepperoni pizza he couldn’t say no. They had only been working on it for a week now and while they had only been doing small things like learning how to block and learning how to throw a punch, Darcy could already feel her muscles harden and what once was soft was now growing hard.

 

The first couple of days had been bad, ducking right when she needed to go left, not ducking at all, not closing her fist properly and a couple times she had slipped and fallen but no major damage had happened yet. The worst were the bruises that covered almost half of her body, some were small like the size of a quarter yet others were bigger like the size of a hand. The more time she spent in the training room the more covered she got but it was a small price to pay for learning how to protect herself, she could tell she was getting better and if Barton was right she should be able to hold her own pretty soon.

 

“Darcy go back upstairs, if anything happens I promise I’ll be the first one to get you.”

 

Shaking her head Darcy steps back away from Barton and shoves her hands in her pockets. “Clint I just want to speak to Loki he even told me to come down this morning when I was eating-“

 

A confused look came over Barton’s face for a second before being replaced with his usual mask. “Loki’s been down here for the past three days there’s no way you could have seen him this morning.”

 

“No I saw him! He asked me to come down later and he said that…” she could feel the blood rising to her cheeks already but she kept going, “he said he missed me and that he needed me.” She waits for him to state his reply but when he says nothing she takes that as her cue to continue. “I get that you’re new here to the whole thing and that you don’t know Loki that well but when you’re missing it that he needs me right now and I have to see him! I get you and Selvig are trying to save the world and all but-“

 

“Saving the world?” he asks slightly confused, “Darcy what did Loki tell you we were doing?”

 

“He said you’re saving the world.” A pregnant pause fills the dark hallway. “Isn’t that what you’re doing?”

 

“Darcy Loki plans to-“

 

“That’s enough Agent Barton.”

 

Loki appears from seemingly out of nowhere and steps forward into the light. He’s still wearing his typical Asgardian outfit all leather and green and his slick black hair hangs just above his shoulders in long greasy strands, he looks the exact same except way more tired and way more exhausted. At that moment Darcy wanted oh so desperately to run over to him, to get caught up in his embrace to feel his strong arms wrap around her body, to feel his hands in her hair, his lips on her-

 

“Does the sentence need repeating or have you forgotten how to use your legs?” Loki says to Barton once more.

 

It takes a minute but after Darcy nods her head signaling that it’s okay Barton takes his leave and heads back towards the lab. It’s just the two of them now for the first time in a long time.

 

“What are you doing down here? I told you the other day that it’s not safe for you to be down here.”

 

“You said you wanted to see me this morning, you came into the kitchen when I was eating and told me that you needed me and that…”

 

It almost kills her the way he shakes his head in confusion. “Darcy I’ve been down here all day I haven’t seen you in a few days.”

 

“But you were in the kitchen earlier and said that-“

 

“Darcy, love that wasn’t me I’ve been down here all morning ask your friend Selvig if you do not believe me.” Loki steps forward and if sensing his companions disappointment gently places his arms on both her shoulders and lightly pulls her closer into an almost hug. “Are you still having trouble sleeping?” she nods her head. “Perhaps you are just tired and seeing things, you should try and go back to bed for a little bit. I’ll come get you in a few hours and then if you’re up for it we can get that pizza you like so much.”

 

“Hawaiian!?”

 

“Precisely and if you’re lucky there might be a dessert in it for you.”

 

Loki watches her face as it crumples beneath him. “What’s wrong, love? I thought pizza and ice cream were your favourite treats?”

 

It’s a fake smile they both know but Darcy does it anyways hoping that it would somehow make things better. “It’s nothing,” she lies.

 

“You’re lying to me, I can tell.”

 

“It’s not easy to lie to the god of lies and mischief,” she adds sarcastically. “Just let it go Loki I’m fine.”

 

She turns sharply on her heels back towards where the entrance to the portal is but before she can make it three steps Loki magically appears in front of her blocking her path. He’s done magic the whole time they’ve been together but it never fails to take her by surprise.

 

“Jesus Loki! You can’t just do that shit whenever you feel like it!” she yells at him as she bumps right into him.

 

“I will do what I please,” Loki responds, “now tell me what is troubling you, you know I hate seeing you like this.”

 

It takes a moment but she finally gives in.

 

“I’m scared,” she admits in a quiet voice, “I’m scared I’m losing you.”

 

For a second the mask drops. “What…what do you mean?”

 

“I’m scared I’m losing you,” she repeats once more, “and I’m scared I already have.”

 

Darcy waits for him to say something, to tell her that her fears are just that-fears but he doesn’t say anything. It makes things a lot worse, she always prepares for the worst and this to her is it.

 

It’s a fear she’s had for a long time it’s just one she never brought up until now. She misses the beginning when they were first starting out together on this journey, the late nights getting to know each other sitting around the fireplace in the parlor of their first house. It reminds her of the house she grew up with the big grand fireplace and soft plush couches but she doesn’t tell him that, he doesn’t like to hear about her family. Darcy knows from her short experience with Thor that there was something wrong with his family life, she never asks and he never says.

 

She doesn’t realize she’s crying until Loki is right there up in her face with his hands pressed gently on the side of her neck, his thumbs resting lightly against her cheek catching her falling tears. It’s the closest they’ve ever been, they’re so close Loki can not only feel but hear her heart beat against her chest, he listens carefully and stores the sound in the back of his mind just in case.

 

“You’re a silly little fool you are,” he whispers, “you know you can never lose me I’m not one who is easily lost, if anything it is I who should fear your loss.”

 

A small laugh escapes passed Darcy’s lips and with it come another string of tears. Loki wastes no time wiping the tears away slowly with the pads of his thumbs, his touch is cool and even though his thumbs are rough with calluses she relishes in his touch and tilts her head slightly into his hand.

 

“Come upstairs with me, I feel better when you’re around.” Darcy confesses.

 

Loki shakes his head. “I can’t, I need to help find some rare element that will help stable the Tesseract. You know how important it is for me to finish this mission-“

 

“I know,” Darcy says quietly, the bitter taste of disappointment fills her mouth and no matter how hard she tries to shove it back down it continues to rise. Really she should be used to it by now. “What’s it called?”

 

“Iridium,” he answers. “Now will you go upstairs and try to sleep for awhile? I’ll get your pizza in a few hours and we can eat it together, does that sound reasonable?”

 

Darcy nods her head but says nothing.

 

“I will see you then,” Loki says.

 

He waves his right hand and he’s gone. The air fills with cinnamon once again, a smell she associates with his magic, it’s comforting and at the same time nostalgic for reason unknown to her. She waits a few moments before silently tiptoeing closer towards the makeshift lab downstairs, the closer she gets the louder the sounds get but she doesn’t let that stop her. She waits until the five scientists all have their backs turned before she half crawls half sprints up to the counter and grabs the closest laptop to her. She secures it under her sweater and bolts back to the portal before anyone can realize it’s gone.

 

Its fifty steps from the portal to her bedroom and another five to her four poster bed. It’s a bed she’s always dreamed of owning but one she never really hoped for but here she is, to be fair she doesn’t really own it more like borrowing or renting until they need to move again. Either way, it’ll do for now.

 

She opens the laptop and immediately begins to download the proper programs. She rolls her shoulders and cracks her neck turning it from side to side till the pressure relieves itself, this is her process and by the looks of this…it’s going to take awhile.

 

* * *

 

 

“Darcy!” Loki calls to her hours later as he heads towards the dining room juggling two pizzas in his hands he acquired from her favourite pizza shop in New Mexico via magic. “I’m back with the pizza!”

 

He’s opening the first pizza box when she finally emerges almost a full minute later. She’s wearing her glasses for the first time in a long time and her hair is sticking up in places like it does when she runs her fingers through it. In her hand is the open laptop.

 

“Where did you get that?” he asks, his voice stern.

 

She doesn’t say anything just places the laptop in front of him open to a page with the S.H.I.E.L.D logo in the upper right side and a picture of a middle age man on the left.

 

“Stuttgart, Germany is where you’ll find the iridium. The curator of this museum has it and lucky for us he’s having a gala in three weeks. We strike then.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

S.H.I.E.L.D Headquarters.

 

After.

* * *

 

 

“Miss Lewis you have visitors,”

 

At the word _visitors_ Darcy immediately perks up and turns her head quickly away from the window in hopes that her two parents would be standing at the door, purple gerbera flowers in their hands (they always were her favourite) and tears in their eyes. It had been almost two years since she last saw her parents and almost seven since the whole Lewis clan had been together.

 

She couldn’t help the horrid frown that covers her face as two strange men walk in the room. The one on the left, the younger one wears unmarked black and surveys the small room he’s now standing in while the other older man shoves his hands deep into the pockets of his gray pinstripe and-

 

Holy shit was that Iron Man?

 

“So this is awkward,” the older man says stepping forward into the room.

 

“How…how so?” she asks feeling rather tongue tied. She’s embarrassed to say that she’s never been this close to a celebrity before, especially a superhero celebrity. Of course there was that whole thing with Thor but that had been different, he didn’t choose to come visit her while these two clearly had.

 

Her answer seems to have stunned both men as their look of displacement is now replaced with a look of shock. Stark looks behind his shoulder to the younger man and together they exchange a look of pure confusion.

 

“You don’t remember us?”

 

Darcy shakes her head twice. “I think I would remember meeting Iron Man and…his sidekick?” she guesses referring to the younger man.

 

No one says anything for a minute. The tension in the room is so intense they could cut it with a knife, no not even a knife more like a shitty plastic cafeteria spoon. While she waits for either of them to answer she takes this time of silence to study both men.

 

The first one, Tony Stark she knows little about just that he is the billionaire and head of Stark Industries. He’s also Iron Man which means he’s kind of a big deal. He stands in the middle of her room looking almost everywhere but at her. He looks exhausted and tired and everything in between. She chuckles to herself for a second, the deep dark purple bags under his eyes match hers entirely.

 

Stark raises his eyebrow at the gesture but shakes his head choosing rather to ignore her. He wouldn’t be the first.

 

“So it’s true what they say?” the younger man asks breaking the silence.

 

Something about his voice sounds so familiar to her…

 

“And what do they say about me?” she asks with a raised eyebrow. “That I’m a menace to society? That I’m some kind of danger to the world or some other bullshit like that?”

 

“They don’t say anything,” Stark answers for the other man, “no one knows you’re here except a select few. We just happen to be on that select few list and would like to talk to you about a few things, that’s all. Think of us like your friends.”

 

“I think I would remember if I were friends with Iron Man,”

 

“Friends don’t try to kill each other,”

 

The words sound harsh coming out from the strange mans mouth but there’s a certain degree of hurt that laces over it making him sound much more human instead of the robot he appears to be. He steps forward a few steps, just enough to be close enough so he could reach out and touch her but he doesn’t. He takes a seat on the edge of the bed instead and sighs deeply. “Darcy you don’t remember anything do you?” she shakes her head. “My name is Clint Barton, I’m an agent with S.H.I.E.L.D and with the Avengers. We’ve met before almost seven months ago when you were with Loki, do you remember this?”

 

“I’ve heard that name before,”

 

“Which one? Mine or Loki’s?”

 

“Loki,” Darcy says quietly before meeting his eye, “why do I know that name?”

 

Stark and Barton exchange an uncomfortable look before Stark clears his throat. “Loki is the reason you’re trapped up in here. Well actually the things you did with Loki are the reason you’re trapped in here but-“

 

“What do you mean the things I did with Loki?” Darcy asks. “Are you telling me I was some partner in crime or something like that?”

 

Once again Stark and Barton exchange a worried glance between them. “You and Loki were…together. Did Fury tell you why you were even here? You seem pretty in the dark to me, kid.”

 

Darcy rolls her eyes and sighs deeply. She hates being called kid especially by someone she hardly knows but she’s hardly one to back talk to Tony friggin Stark. She opens her mouth to say the words _don’t call me kid_ when a low chuckle emerges from the throat of Barton.

 

“Don’t call her kid,” he says laughing, “it’s one of her pet peeves.”

 

“And you know this because…?” Stark asks.

 

“Yeah, how did you know that?” she asks with curiosity.

 

Barton just shrugs. “You told me this once before when we were in the training room, we were practicing our kicks and you fell and skinned your knee and when you bitched about it I told you to buck up kid. You told me after I had gotten you some ice that you hated being called kid, it was something your brother…Oliver I think it was called you when you were younger but the way he said it used to drive you up the wall.”

 

The room goes silent. Darcy can feel the heavy stare of Stark on her but she won’t give him or Barton the satisfaction of confirming what he just said. Instead she stares back out the window and onto the midday sky, her only solstice these days and even then something about it seems…off.

 

“Well?” Stark asks after a silent moment. “Was he right?”

 

She shrugs once more but doesn’t remove her gaze from the window. “The story is right but I don’t remember telling him that and I certainly don’t remember any training we might have done together.”

 

She can feel the pressure on the mattress shift but before she can turn her head to see what Barton was up to a fist flew right past her face as if to punch her but instead of hitting her his hand turns and snaked around her throat cutting off her air supply. It comes at her so fast and so unexpectedly that she hardly has time to act before she jumps up pulling both herself and Barton up with the force.

 

Her heart races as her body leaps into action. She grabs Barton’s right hand and snaps it down at the wrist causing a slight crack of the bone, she whipped her head back just in time to see his other arm fly at her like the crack of a whip. She let go of the hand currently in hers and with both hands grabbed at the front of his shirt pulling him in closer, his arms went to wrap around her but she was much quicker than him and saw his intentions possibly even before he did. She dropped quickly and landed hard on the ground landing right on her tailbone, it hurt but with all the endorphins running through her body she barely felt it. She knew she had caught Clint off guard and now was the best time to strike. She sat up balancing on the balls of her feet with her palms to the ground like a cat ready to pounce but instead of pouncing up she brought all her force into her right leg and as quick as lightning snapped her leg forward hitting Clint’s ankles causing him to lose his balance and fall with a loud thud onto the hard ground.

 

With Clint on his back now was the perfect time to execute her final move. She leaned back once again into the balls of her feet and was seconds away from her attack when two strong arms grabbed her from behind preventing her from moving.

 

“Let me go!” Darcy screams at Stark. His grip never lessens no matter how hard she fights against him, if anything it tightens.

 

“Barton, you okay?” Stark asks while dodging Darcy’s attempts to jab him with her elbows.

 

“Yeah Stark I’m fine,” Barton replies as he takes his time getting up from the ground. “You can let her go now, Stark I’ve proved my point.”

 

“What point! She almost ripped your head off!” he replies.

 

“And I could have!” Darcy snarls through her teeth.

 

Barton laughs and moves a few steps closer towards her. “We both know you could have if I wanted you to but that was more educational than anything else. You say you don’t know how to fight yet who do you think taught you those moves?”

 

She stops trying to fight Stark. She repeats Barton’s words in her head _who do you think taught you those moves_ …the words were Barton’s but it was not his voice she heard in her head. She had heard those words before a long, long time ago.

 

She doesn’t realize Stark had removed his grip on her until he’s standing in front of her beside Barton, she meets his eyes for only a second but one second is all she needs. The look he gives her is one she’s very familiar with. Fear, he’s scared of her.

 

“Darcy?” Barton asks as he reaches out towards her with his left hand. “Do you believe me now?”

 

His touch is gentle yet firm as he places his hand in the space between her neck and shoulder. She looks up at him and for a second the dark green orbs look familiar to her but just for a second then the moments over.

 

A memory fills her head then of the two of them. She’s lying on the ground surrounded by a small pool of water, above her Clint is staring down at her his eyes wide and his lips parted slightly. A man stands beside Clint, the green on him is so bright it almost blinds her but she keeps her focus on him, _a beacon of light_ she thinks to herself yet not knowing why. In his hand he holds a golden cane with such a force she’s surprised he hasn’t broken it yet. _Darcy._ Her name leaves Clint’s lips yet sounds miles away. Clint reaches down beside her and into the water that leaves her feeling cold, he brings his hand back up into her view but something is wrong. No that’s not right water isn’t red its clear…water is clear…blood is red. Clint’s blue eyes stare back at her and his mouth moves with speech but she doesn’t hear anything, her thoughts are elsewhere. Like how water can turn into blood...like how a golden cane can turn into a bloody dagger.

 

The memory ends almost as quickly as it starts. It leaves her with a dizzy feeling in her body and a tight pressure in her head.

 

Her voice is small and broken but he hears her all the same. “What did he do to me?”

 

“He broke you and we’re going to put you back together.” He answers.

 

She looks up at him then and for a second swears she sees blue where green should be.

 

“The broken make the best followers,” she whispers.

 

The words are not hers she knows this to be true she even knows whose words they are but cannot bring herself to say his name, by the look on Barton’s face he seems to know this too.

 

She opens her mouth to say something but instead of words coming out she surprises herself and the two others by instead releasing a blood curling scream. The pressure in her head becomes too much and if Barton’s hand is made of stone she crashes under him and hits the ground hard. It burns, everything burns as a fire starts inside her. Her skin feels like it was doused it gasoline, her hair feels like embers flying off a roasting log, her eyes feel like hot coals and her heart pounds in her chest so hard that she feels the friction. It’s not the fire that breaks her but the screams that come at her loud and high reminding her of her incident weeks ago but this time the screams are not all her. They’re different, some are men, some women and even thought they are small and almost drowned out some belong to children, it’s the worst sound she’s ever heard. She tries to cover her ears but it does little to ease her, if anything they come to her louder now as if annoyed by her attempt to block them out.

 

Barton and Stark are now with her on the floor but by the looks on their faces they aren’t affected by the screams or the fire. It’s just her. Alone once again.

 

A whole team of agents and doctors rush into the room moments later. They step forward approaching her with caution but they’re too slow! She’s going to burn into ashes if they don’t come faster! Darcy removes her hands from her ears and reaches out desperately towards Clint, to the agents…to anyone but no one reaches back. The red that stains her hands cause another wave of pressure to roll through her body as she smacks her hands back to her ears this time squeezing her hands tight around her head as if to try and relieve some of the pressure.

 

It does nothing, if anything it makes the blood rush out of her even faster. She tries to keep her ears covered with her palms but they keep slipping and coming down slick and wet from blood and she tries and tries to scream but her mouth fills with blood and soon she’s choking on it as it trickles down her throat.

 

She’s numb but the fire is still ignited from within her. It hurts but instead of trying to fight it she embraces it, even welcomes it like an old friend. A phoenix must burst into flames when it dies so it can be reborn into something else, perhaps Darcy will do the same. She thinks of flying but her last thoughts end up being about her falling.

 

Nothing much matters after the fall anyways but it goes dark before she can land.

 

 

* * *

 

 

She wakes much, much later to the beep and whirling of machines. Her eyes feel heavy and it’s a challenge to open them but she knows if she doesn’t fight she may not get up again. Her vision is blurry and the longer she keeps her eyes open the more nauseous she feels yet she doesn’t close them until everything stops moving and the taste of bile recedes down her throat.

 

She tries to lift her arms but when she looks down she sees she’s bound to the bed at the wrists by thick heavy white restraints. She tries to fight them shaking both wrists violently but that only seems to tighten them, her wrists are rubbed raw and starting to bleed by the time she finally gives up.

 

She can’t help the tears that fall out of her eyes. Just when she was starting to feel free she’s back where she started to the small helpless caged bird. Her tears blind her vision so much so that she almost doesn’t see the man standing in the far corner of the room. His bright blue eyes stare back at her with both interest and something that almost looks like longing. His face looks so familiar but the crisp black three piece suit he wears is all wrong, but she can’t figure out why.

 

“You’re awake,” he says pushing himself away from the wall and heading closer to her. “You’ve been out for some time now I was starting to worry that perhaps I had made the block too strong.”

 

“The block?”

 

The man nods his head and sits on the edge of the bed. He reaches over and with his right hand reaches forward as if to touch her but stops just inches from her face. With a frown he says, “You do not remember, perhaps that is for your own good in the end all is well.”

 

“Do I know you?” she asks quietly.

 

The man lets out a soft chuckle and then finally lowers his hand so it lands on the side of her face against her cheek. She can’t tell what’s worse the fire that burnt her body earlier or the ice that freezes her skin now that comes from his hand. He leans forward once more and very slowly and gently places his cold lips right above her nose between her eyebrows.

 

“It is I, Loki and I have come to take you home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, much like the first, takes place after my main story. There will be a few chapters from this viewpoint and I will be sure to label them so not to confuse anyone!
> 
> All mistakes are mine.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It happened last night.
> 
> Or the chapter you've been waiting for...with a twist.

 

“Can we take five?” Darcy asks from her spot on the floor. “We’ve been practicing for at least two hours and it’s midnight. MIDNIGHT! Who the hell works out at midnight?”

 

“Apparently we do now,” Clint calls back over his shoulder as he picks up the wooden practice blocks from around the room, “also we wouldn’t need to practice this late if your boyfriend didn’t have me running around doing chores for him.”

 

“Yeah well at least you get to leave the house every once and awhile I have to stay in here like some little slave housewife. You know what I’d give to be able to go outside once and awhile?”

 

“You’re so distracted tonight you can barely hold a conversation, what makes you think you can last three seconds out there?”

 

“Okay first of all I’m not some caged up animal I have seen the outside before so calm down there Hawkeye and second of all I just have a lot on my mind lately so that’s why I’ve been a bit preoccupied.”

 

“You want to talk about it?”

 

She shakes her head no but deep down inside it’s all she wants to talk about. It started last night, Darcy had been already in her pajamas for hours reading by the fireplace and just when she was about to turn in for the night Loki appeared underneath the arch way. They stayed like that for several moments just staring at each other like they had never seen each other before. She stared at his eyes, the blue in them reminding her of the river her father and brothers used to fish in, his pale white skin reminded her of the snow that fell in her childhood home in Michigan, the jet black of his hair reminded her of the night sky she so desperately missed. He came to her then slowly and sat down beside her on their couch close enough that his skin burnt hers.

 

He said nothing as he reached over and grabbed both her arms and began to pull her gently onto his lap. He holds her like that for what must have been hours, it was awkward at first with Darcy’s legs falling asleep and her back hurting from the position but Loki lightly traced a small pattern onto the small of her back and the pain went away just like that, it could have been a spell for all she knew yet cinnamon did not fill the air.

 

“Sing me a song,” he asked her some time later.

 

“I don’t know very many and I’m not a very good singer,”

 

“If you sing me a song I will tell you a story of Asgard if that is what you want to hear.”

 

It’s all she ever wanted to hear if she told the truth. She loved his stories and the way he told them filled her with both excitement and want to go visit this beautiful land. She thought for a minute before taking a deep breath and clearing her throat, she began to sing.

 

Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these broken wings and learn to fly

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to arise

 

Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these sunken eyes and learn to see

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to be free

 

He said nothing as she finished singing, perhaps he was waiting for her to continue it wasn’t a very long song after all or maybe he was thinking about the words. Her mother had used to sing that song to her when she was younger it was her favourite Beatles song and she always found an occasion to sing it, Darcy’s own singing voice was nothing like her mother’s but when she sang this particular song she couldn’t help  but hear her mother’s voice through her words.

 

“You have a lovely voice,” Loki whispered into her ear, the motion was neither sensual nor frightening yet it still sent shivers down her spine. _There must be a reason he came to me, after all this time_ she thought to herself, _perhaps he will kiss me and make me his like I dreamt it the other night._ But those were only dreams and reality was much different than that.

 

Shifting slight under her Loki places a cold hand on her knee and stares into her warm pools of blue and for a second her breath hitches, she can’t think of a perfect time to kiss her than right now when she’s right here in front of him literally in his lap waiting. But she’s always waiting and at this point she’s used to the disappointment and false hope he fills her with.

 

“It’s late and I have kept you from your sleep,” he says lightly pushing her from his lap, “I have much work to do and you need your sleep. Goodnight, Darcy.”

 

He leaves then quickly and quietly as before but before he can disappear through the way he turns to look at her once more and she can’t help but notice the disappointment that fills his face. Perhaps he had wanted to kiss her but now was not the time, he had a war to wage and win such silly things like romance and Darcy’s heart were of no concern to the prince. She never gets her story.

 

She slept that night despite everything. She dreamt that Loki had taken her out into the midnight sky where he pointed to the stars and named every single one of them like they were his own, he told her the stories of the constellations and pointed out every shooting star that passed. She dreamt that he kissed her then under the star filled sky, he kissed her slowly at first and tenderly gently pressing both palms to either side of her face holding her close to him. She dreamt that he took her as his right there for the heavens to see and afterwards he held her close in his big warms arms. She had never felt happier or more at peace in her short life. She fell asleep shortly just before the sun came up indicating a brand new day and as she was falling asleep Loki hummed her a strange melody unlike anything she had ever heard.

 

She woke up in the early hours of the morning feeling cold and empty. It took her a few moments to take everything in, white dresser, white vanity, white bed…empty bed. It was all a dream. She rubbed her arms slowly remembering the way he touched them last night, it was then when she knew it was a dream; Loki was always cold and last night was warm.

 

The rest of the morning passed slowly as she did her usual routine, showered, dressed, eat, go down to the lab seeing what sort of help she can give the others (today included hacking into S.H.I.E.L.D’s system yet again to find out more out the Avengers team Clint was talking about) and then onto the gym with Clint. She only saw Loki once that day just as she was walking into the lab, he was standing in the far back corner next to Selvig pointing towards the cube both very clearly deep into the conversation when he looks up and their eyes lock. It’s only for a second before he turns away from her but in that short time she notices the way his pupils almost blow out the beautiful blue turning black as coal and the way his breath hitches. It’s the exact same thing that happens to her when he walks into the room.

 

Returning back to reality Darcy shakes her head at Clint and turns quickly from him before her tears can fall from her eyes. She silently curses Loki for making her feel this way and curses herself for saving him all those weeks ago, she should have left him for dead.

 

“You okay?” Clint asks as he approaches her.

 

“No,” she answers, “I’m not okay.”

 

“We don’t have to keep practicing, you can go back upstairs if you’d rather do that.”

 

She shakes her head and as she does a stream of tears fall. “No I need the distraction.”

 

Clint allows the room to fill with silence for a few moments before he asks, “Do you love him?”

 

She lets herself think for a minute before a soft chuckle escapes past her lips. Wiping her eyes Darcy turns around and faces Clint. “Would you think any less of me if I said yes?”

 

“So you love him?” Clint asks crossing his arms, a habit he has when things turn serious.

 

“Yes? Maybe? I don’t know, I honestly don’t know. One day I think I might and sometimes I think he might even love me too but then the next instant he stays away and ignores me and sometimes I think he hates me and he regrets bringing me here but then he’ll pull a 360 and do things like he did last night and-“

 

“What happened last night?”

 

Darcy pause for a second and chews on the corner of her lip before answering. “He came to me last night before I was going to bed and didn’t say anything he just held me on the couch for the longest time. It wasn’t a big deal or anything he goes through these…cuddly periods sometimes then two days later he doesn’t want to be touched ever again but last night was different. Clint, I thought he was going to kiss me and when he didn’t I was really upset and I wanted to yell at him for being so thick but I just watched him leave.”

 

“Sometimes all we can do is watch the ones we love leave,” Clint says quietly.

 

“Have you ever been in love?”

 

“Love is for children,” he answers almost too quickly.

 

Darcy laughs again softly and wipes her eyes try with the back of her hand. “I’ll take that as a yes.” She meets Clint’s eyes and raises an eyebrow. “I believe you were going to teach me my way around a knife?”

 

* * *

 

 

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”

 

They barely have enough time to react before Loki comes charging in through the door and straight at them both, Clint has just enough time to push Darcy away roughly from him onto the ground before a flash of bright green hits him right in the chest and throws him across the room.

 

“Loki stop it!” Darcy yells from the ground. “He didn’t do anything!”

 

Loki stops dead in his track and turns quickly to face Darcy. He looks seriously pissed, his eyes are stone and cold and his nostrils flair out …that and the green flames that comes out of his hands are all clear indicators that this probably won’t go down well.

 

“THEN WHY DID HE HAVE A KNIFE TO YOUR THROAT?”

 

She opens her mouth to reply but before she can manage a word Loki turns his back to her and lifts his hands aiming them at the limp Clint lying across the room. Before he can do anything Darcy jumps up from the ground and runs between the two men.

 

“Move out of the way, Darcy I don’t want to hurt you.”

 

“He didn’t do anything to me! He didn’t hurt me he was just-“

 

“Are you bleeding!?”

 

Shocked, Darcy looks down at her right arm and for the first time notices the deep gash oozing blood just above her elbow. So that’s where the pain came from.

 

“I’m fine,” she says quietly.

 

Loki lowers his hands and clenches them making a fist and the flames disappear. He approaches her slowly and carefully and when he gets close enough to touch her he takes her arms and holds it up for him to see. “It’s deep,”

 

“It’s fine,” she says again.

 

He meets her eyes for a second before he turns his attention to her wound. It’s deep and a couple inches long definitely from the knife that Clint was trying to teaching her with only a few moments ago, he must have accidentally cut her when he pushed her away. Loki lifts his right hand over the wound for a few seconds before placing his palm over it; it stings but the cold from his hand helps. When he removes it a few seconds later the cut is gone and all that remains it a small silvery scar and the blood surrounding the cut.

 

“Does it hurt?”

 

“Yes,” she whispers meeting his eye once more, “the cuts not too bad either.”

 

She can tell that she caught him off guard by the look that passes on his face, it’s a mixture of worry and confusion but it only lasts a second before his usual mask slips back on. He drops her arms back to her side and looks over his shoulder to where Clint is still half sitting on the floor.

 

“You may leave, Barton go back downstairs and find something useful to do.”

 

From the corner of her eye Darcy watches as Clint limps his way out of the training room and into the hallway, she can feel his stare on her and it feels like acid burning into her skin but she doesn’t care she has Loki now and that’s all she’s ever needed.

 

Once they’re alone she breaks their eye contact and begins to step away but before she can Loki reaches out to her and pulls her in close to him into a soft hug. She lets herself close her eyes and before she can stop herself she leans into him and places her head right on his chest over his heart, she listens to the _thump thump thump_ treating it like a melody before she whispers, “I missed you.”

 

“I saw you this morning, how could you miss me so soon?” Loki asks as he moves his hand to the small of her back.

 

“I was hoping you would notice that I was away so much and that you’d come and find me but you never did,”

 

“I must apologize that I’ve been so busy lately,” he says in a hushed tone and at the same time starts to trace out a pattern into her back, “though I did miss my Darcy Lewis.”

 

She lifts her head up off of him and steps away a half step away so she can stare into his eyes. “Say it again,”

 

“Say what?”

 

She has to bite the corner of her lip to keep her from smiling. “Say my name again, say it like you just said it then.”

 

“Darcy,” he says with a crooked smile that goes right through her, “Darcy Lewis. My Darcy Lewis.”

 

She can’t help the smile that practically radiates off her lips. Before he can say anything she steps forward back to him and throws her arms around his waist pulling him into a tight hug. She can feel him stiffen from beneath her but she doesn’t lessen her grip, if anything she latches onto him tighter.

 

“What did I do to deserve this?” Loki asks slightly confused.

 

“My name, you’ve never said my full name before at least not like that anyways.”

 

“Like what?”

 

She takes a deep breath and shuts her eyes concentrating of the sound of his breath and the beating of his heart. “The way you said it like it’s the most beautiful thing in the world. You said it like it can solve all the problems in the world.”

 

She feels him go slack beneath her and a moment later he returns the favor wrapping both cold arms around her. To her he smells like cinnamon and…home. She likes the sound of that _home_ she thought her home was back with Jane and Selvig or even with her blood family but standing her in Loki’s embrace made her realize that this was her home, he was her home.

 

“Perhaps it will, Darcy Lewis.”

 

They’re so close now. They’ve always had a close, intimate relationship (without the intimacy, she might add) but the way they’re standing here now takes a whole new level. His touch begins to burn her skin through the thin layer of her shirt, his touch is known to always be cold but tonight she swears he’s the warmest she’s ever felt him to be. He  leans down slowly pressing his mouth gently against Darcy’s ear and sights deeply straight into it and as he does this she holds her breath letting the chill run throughout her body relishing in the feeling. 

 

“Did you miss me?” he asks in a hushed tone.

 

Darcy nods her head slightly and lets out a soft sigh, “I’ve always missed you, even before I knew you.”

 

It’s the answer he was looking for, not just in this moment but perhaps he’s been looking for it forever. He leans back slowly just enough so that he can look down and see her face, it’s beautiful and a beautiful face should always be seen. Raising his hand he placed it tenderly on the side of her face resting on her cheek and strokes the soft skin back and forth.

 

“Where have you been all these years?”

 

“I’ve been here, you just weren’t looking for me.”

 

“No Darcy, I’ve always been looking you’ve just been hiding.”

 

She doesn’t say anything back to him but she doesn’t need to he doesn’t need words anymore at least not with her. He takes a moment to lean back slightly once again only this time instead of moving away from her he lets his eyes brush over her and for the first time takes her in fully. He notes the slight freckles speckled across her cheeks, on the tops of her shoulders and just slightly over her breasts just below her collarbone. He takes note of the way her lips part slightly, a habit he noticed she does whenever he’s around or the way her pupils seem to blow out when they’re in the same room, he’s noticed it from the very start and it has not slipped his attention since. He makes sure in this moment to take in every freckle, every scar, every bruise and every other imperfection that make Darcy Darcy. He takes all this in the back of his mind and makes sure to store everything about her, something he’s been doing from the very start. He could tell you the way she puts pepper on everything she eats, how her favourite ice cream is Cherry Garcia and how when she’s really tired instead of yawning she starts to cough slightly, a trait that he can tell annoys her to no ends but to him he finds it adorable.

 

Her eyes are closed when he moves both his hands affectionately on either side of her neck but the second their skin touch her eyes fly open and stare up at him. She opens her eyes and inside Loki finds a universe.

 

He could spend an eternity looking up into the night sky seeing all those beautiful stars and constellations, something he has always loved since he was a little boy sitting in Frigga’s lap, but nothing could ever compare to the look in her eyes. The bright blue orbs reminded him of the waters in Asgard in the early hours in the morning, of the bright blue in the sky during the afternoon and the bright reflection of the Bifrost. They remind him of everything and anything but nothing is as unique as her.

 

He’s never been a slow intimate lover instead listening to his lust rather than his heart but with Darcy he makes sure to do the opposite and take his time. He tips her head up slightly making sure the angle is right and almost painfully slow lowers his lips onto hers softly yet firm. She closes her eyes letting her whole body melt into his, moving her hands from her waist she snakes them up his chest gripping at the soft leather padding his chest. It’s nowhere close to her first kiss but to her it’s the only one that matters.

 

Chills and lust run through her skin and a fire burns inside her but she clings to him desperately holding onto him like she’s lost at sea and he’s the nearest life raft. She feels like she could explode at any minute but if she’s going to burn at least he’ll be there to put her out.

 

Loki presses his body closer to her and moves his hands once more up into her hair and wraps them up into her strands tugging gently at the ends, the sounds she makes send chills all over his skin and a fire between his legs.

 

Her lips are soft and inviting and send his mind spinning in circles but Loki doesn’t care, perhaps he’ll never care again. He runs his tongue slowly against Darcy’s lower lip and waits oh so patiently for her to part them and when she does another shiver runs through his body as her soft pearly tongue returns his gesture and traces his lower lip just as he did to her. She smells like tangerines and vanilla, quite the combination but with her it works, he fills his body with the scent and taste of her reeling with every touch she makes.

 

It’s in this moment now where Darcy swears to every god there ever is and was, on the universe and it’s multiples, on every different realm and everything from the grass in the ground to the moon, sun and stars in the sky that she’s never and will never love anyone as much as she loves Loki in this instant.

 

“I want you,” she manages to say between kisses, “I want you now, right now.”

 

Loki stops and leans away from her. “Are you certain? We don’t have to-“

 

“I want you to take me.”

 

It’s all he needs.

 

He wraps his arms around her tightly and whispers a few hushed words and in an instant they’re transported into Loki’s bedroom. The lighting in low so she can’t see much and to be honest her head spins a bit either from the lust coursing through her body or the teleportation but either way they’re here and there’s always the morning to investigate where he stays.

 

“You’ve never been in my chambers before,” he says, his voice laced with lust, “you’ve never even sneaked in while I was gone.”

 

“I believe in a thing called privacy,” she answers him in a sarcastic tone.

 

“I believe in Darcy Lewis.” he says back before he kisses her once again.

 

Loki knows deep down inside he wants to take his time, he wants to learn Darcy like a map, wants to know what makes her moan, what makes her scream but he can barely contain himself as he reaches up and begins to unlace his leather. As he works on his own clothes Darcy begins to work on hers, with their lips still locked she shimmies out of her capris and begins to work on her top before she notices it’s already gone.

 

“Magic, love it works wonders.”

 

He reaches behind her and grips either side of her hips lifting her up in the air and the second her feet leave the floor she wraps her legs around his waist and kisses him deeply as he moves them over to the bed. It’s soft and big, much bigger than hers and much more comfortable but it’s not the bed she’s interested in its Loki. He hovers over her now pressing a trail of kissed from the corner of her mouth down her jaw to the side of her neck just below her ear then down her rib cage between her breasts.

 

It’s all she’s ever wanted but suddenly it feels like too much, the room feels like it’s closing in on her and her lungs feel tight from lack of oxygen. Darcy sits up quickly and pushes Loki away so she can sit up properly.

 

“What’s wrong, love?”

 

She tries to speak but no words come to mind. Her head and chest pound like drums causing a splitting headache, she needs to leave, she needs air she feels like she’s going to pass out.

 

Loki reaches out to her at that moment but he’s a second too late. She scrambles off the bed but her foot gets caught up in the sheet and before she can get it untangled she’s falling onto her back, she hits the ground with a hard thud a sound that sends chills down Loki’s spine.

 

“Darcy!”

 

He jumps off the bed and is at her side in seconds. Her eyes are shut, her breath is shallow and a tiny line of blood drops out from her right nostril and onto the hard mahogany of the floor below her.

 

“Darcy! Darcy wake up!” Loki tries once more gently shaking her making sure to avoid her head. Panic, fear and adrenaline fill his body as he stares down at her helplessly he can’t do anything but hope and pray that she wakes up. He knows she will, Darcy Lewis is a fighter and in a few seconds she will open her eyes smile at him and they can pretend this never happened.

 

But it doesn’t work out like that.

 

The bleeding does stop and she does open her eyes a few moments later but instead of being treated to a smile he’s treated to a blood curling scream, it’s piercingly loud and full of fear but he still tries to go to her.

 

“STAY AWAY FROM ME!” She screams at him.

 

She tries to stand but the second her feet touch the ground she loses her balance and falls onto the floor once again only this time she manages to avoid hitting her head.

 

“HELP ME!” she screams as she squirms away from a stunned Loki, “PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME! GET AWAY FROM ME!”

 

“Love, please come back here-“

 

“HELP ME!”

 

She’s almost at the door when her screams turn into heavy fat sobs. He can’t do anything but watch as Darcy brings her knees to her chest and cries heavily, tears run down her legs in streaks and land with a _plop plop_ onto the ground mixing in with the blood still running down her naked legs.

 

She lifts up her head and it’s then when Loki notices her eyes. They’re no longer bright and light but dark and full of fear and something close to hate. “Please don’t kill me,” she begs between her tears, “please let me go.”

 

The scepter is in his hands before he even realizes what’s happening. The spell it wore off, this Darcy that sits before him is not the one who’s been with him these past few weeks. This isn’t the Darcy he’s been with this whole time, this is the scared girl who rescued him in the desert, the one he almost killed.

 

“Please don’t,” she begs again but she’s too late.

 

Just like before the scepter slices through her skin almost effortlessly, she opens her mouth to scream but no sounds come out just like before. The silence kills him, everything that has happened in these last few minutes kills him inside.  The buzzing from the scepter tells him that the spell is intact and that he can remove it from her heart but it’s not enough if she hits her head again she’ll go back to her original self and Loki doesn’t want that, he wants to be with his Darcy not this stranger.

 

“You’ll forget all about this,” he whispers as he places a hand over the scepter lacing his magic with the magic from the shaft, “you won’t remember these last few minutes and instead you’ll think of this,” Loki shuts his eyes and concentrates hard on everything about Darcy, her laugh, her smile, her touch, her kisses and when he feels like he has enough he opens his eyes and transfers more magic into her, it takes a lot out of him but it will be worth it once she wakes up as herself once more. Once the spell is done he puts the scepter back in its usual place deep into his soul and carries the now unconscious Darcy back to the bed. He puts her under the covers and brushes the hair out of her eyes before he has to look away disgusted with himself. What is wrong with him? Implanting fake memories of them in hopes it will make the spell stronger is something he thought he’d never have to do but clearly that was the case. She’s still suffering from him searing their souls together the first time he’s not quite sure if she’ll be able to function normally with him tapping into both her brain and her soul but it’s a risk he’s willing to make.

 

He never told her about their souls seared as one before and to be honest he was hoping he would never have to. It was something he did in the heat of the moment, the first time he put her under his spell the scepter went in too deep and touched her heart something the Chitauri warned him about before they gave it to him but he’d never done it before and he panicked. The scepter went in too deep, pierced her heart and the only way to save her was to patch up her heart with a part of his soul, it’s why she trusted and loved him so easily; she had a part of him inside her at all time.

 

He hates himself instantly for what he’s done that he has to leave the room before the bile stops rushing up his throat. He looks down at his hands and notices the blood staining his skin for the first time.

 

“What have I done?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So first off I hope you liked this chapter! It's the longest chapter I've written in this story for two reason: 1) because I haven't updated in awhile and 2) because unfortunately I don't know the next time I will be able to update. I'm moving yet again which means I might not have a lot of downtime but I'll try to work on it as much as I can!
> 
> All mistakes are mine.


	8. Chapter 8

The days grow longer when he’s not there. The clock that resides on the wall seems to have developed arthritis and its arms move at a much slower rate than before. The stars grow lazy as the days grow longer and don’t come out as often as if realizing it’s pointless to come out for a few hours only to disappear again. The dust specks on the furniture becomes much too comfortable and decided to move their families in all over the house, a gentle reminder of how long it had last been since she cared. There’s a hollow spot in the middle of her that once felt so whole and full but now it acts like a black hole slowly sucking everything away piece by piece. She starts to think that perhaps it’s because she eats too much and sleeps too little so she begins to eat less and sleep more and after a few days of feeling no different she decides to make a compromise. She doesn’t even realize she doesn’t sleep until the once dark room becomes illuminated by thousands of tiny rays coming from the corner alerting her of the new day, she doesn’t realize she stopped eating until she opens up the fridge one day to find everything went from green to black.

 

It’s much easier to pretend everything is alright rather than face the truth of it so she does her duty. She smiles and politely chats with Selvig in the mornings in the lab, she lies and tells Clint nothing’s wrong while dodging punches, throwing knives and kicking dummies. Her punches are stronger, her muscles in her arms tighten and ripple as she throws herself at the “opponent”, her bones and muscles scream out to her begging her to slow down and stop but how can she stop when this is the only time where she ever feels anything at all? Later, much later, when she’s sitting in her spot on the couch she notices the dried blood and bruising on both her knuckles, she flexes both hands and makes them into tight fists which make the skin break and blood seep out through the small cuts but despite all that she doesn’t stop. She keeps flexing and making tight fists until her muscles give out and the blood stains her once porcelain skin. It’s been so long since she’s felt anything it’s almost nice to feel pain once again.

 

At night when he finally comes home he says nothing as he crosses the room to her and places both hands gently against the sides of her neck, says nothing as he leans down and places icy lips onto warms ones, says nothing when he takes her by the hand and leads her down the corridor, to the right and in through the doorway and onto the bed. She kisses him too forcefully sometimes or too soft others, makes too many sounds one night then none the next, sometimes she leaves her mark in forms of bruises, bites and often blood, sometimes he leaves his. When he begins to shrug off her shirt she stares at the ceiling or sometimes into his eyes trying to find the man she loves behind the mask he now wears.

 

When they’re done they lay there silently each with the words they’re so desperate to say trapped behind sealed lips; their tongues heavy with the weight of the words locked away. They’ve never needed words before, why should they start now?

 

He holds her throughout the night while they both pretend to sleep and on the rare occasion when she does fall asleep he moves the blanket she drapes around herself (he’s so cold lately) aside so he can feel her skin against his like they used to do so long ago. Has it really been that long surely it’s only been two week at most since the incident? Everything was much simpler back then. Could it be possible to take them back to the start?

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Is everything going as planned, son of Odin?”

 

“Everything is as planned,” Loki answers through a clenched jaw, “in three days we will have the iridium and after that it shouldn’t take too long to stabilize the portal. Once I know the portal can stabilize itself I will send word to you.”

 

The leader of the Chitauri smiles clearly satisfied at his answer and stands up slowly from his spot against the rocky edge. “You have done well despite your current affiliation to the Earth,”

 

“I’m afraid I don’t understand what-“

 

“Don’t play dumb with me, boy; you think I don’t know about your new little pet? I’ll admit I was shocked to hear you’re newfound love for a species you once were so set to destroy and then I started to think that maybe this is the reason everything has been running so slowly, is it possible that you’re regretting our agreement?”

 

“No,” Loki replies a little too quickly, “the plans will continue and everything will be ready in due time.”

 

“It better because if my army has not infiltrated the Earth soon I will have to find another way to get to it and when I do your little pet will be the first one I’ll go after. Do we have a deal?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Remember, if you fail, if the Tesseract is kept from us, there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevasse where I cannot find you.”

 

“I understand-"

 

Before he can finish his thought the Leader steps forward closing the space between the two men. “I don’t think you do,” he says circling around to Loki’s back, “I believe you will try to take what was promised to me and use it to keep you and your little pet safe.”

 

Loki can feel his own heart race and feels his pulse beat heavily against the side of his neck as the Other wraps a slender hand against the side of his face. The second his skin touches Loki’s he can feel sharp painful electrical shocks course through his body. “You think you know pain? He will make you long for that so sweet as pain.”

 

* * *

 

Despite the lack of a calendar Darcy knows the gala is in two days. She also knows that Loki is planning something big for after she just doesn’t know what. There’s no way he’s just going to walk in there take the iridium and leave, no Loki doesn’t roll like that she knows Loki and Clint are planning something but whatever it is they won’t tell her. She tried to get Clint to tell her during their now nightly practices but he shrugs off her questions and dodges her punches. When she asks Loki later that night he says nothing just reaches out into the space between them and pulls her closer to him and kisses the top of her head.

 

“Don’t worry about that, love, it’ll be over soon.”

 

She knows he said that to reassure her but why did it do the exact opposite? For the first time in a long time they sleep facing each other that night, foreheads gently pressed together, fingers interlaced tightly hovering just over their hearts and chests rhythmically rising and falling with each passing breath. She could have stayed there forever just the two of them forever frozen just like that, but the world is cruel and the sun rose too quickly. There would never be enough time in the world for the two of them; even if time itself stopped it would never be enough.

 

It’s almost supper time and Loki still hasn’t come home. She’s not worried though, it’s still early and tonight she’s cooking up his favourite so she knows he can’t be far. Darcy’s never been the best chef more often than not preferring to order take out rather than cooking but she’s given very few options with regards to food these days so she has no choice but to cook her own.

 

Everything’s almost ready with the exception of the steaks marinating in the fridge, the baked potatoes are being heated up in the oven along with the garlic bread, while the carrots and asparagus are simmering away on the frying pan. She takes the steaks out from the fridge now and covers them in salt and pepper before throwing them in the hot cast iron skillet.

 

As dinner cooks Darcy begins to wonder if this is the last meal they’ll eat together. There’s still two days until Loki goes to Germany but she keeps getting this horrible knot in her stomach that makes her feel uneasy and nervous. A million thoughts run through her head as she flips the steaks, what if something goes wrong, what if someone gets captured, what if Clint gets hurt or even Loki! What if Loki gets captured? What if he gets captured and can’t come home to her? What will she do without him?

 

The more she thinks about it the more nauseous she gets, almost to the point where she can feel the bile rising up in her throat. She can’t think of losing him not now, not ever, not when they’ve come so close. The knot in her stomach mixed with the nausea becomes too much for her that Darcy barely makes it to the bathroom before bile and the contents of her stomach empty out into the toilet bowl.

 

“Darcy?” she can hear Loki call from the hallway, “Darcy where are you?”

 

“I’ll be out in a minute!” she yells back to him.

 

She allows herself to take five minutes before going back out into the kitchen to face Loki. In that time she brushes her teeth, splashes cold water on her face and stares at her reflection in the mirror for what seems like ages. It’s been so long since she’s seen herself she barely recognizes the face staring back at her. Her skin looks paper thin and void of all colour, her cheekbones stick out from all the weight she’s lost, her hair looks limp and flat she almost misses the thick mess it used to be. The thing she misses the most however are the colour of her eyes and the dark blue they used to be not this bright glowing blue that resides there now. Everyone’s eyes are like that too she can only assume its Loki’s doing, even his eyes look like it too now that she thinks about it.

 

When she makes it back to the kitchen she’s surprised to see it empty of all the food she made and the plates on the counter top are missing as well.

 

“Loki?”

  
“I’m in here, love,” he answers from the dining room.

 

“Hey did you move the food I-oh wow, Loki everything looks beautiful!”

 

The giant mahogany table, for the first time since they moved in, was set with the exquisite china that until now had only been in display in the cabinet against the far wall. The table was set for two with the big white dinner plates with the polished silver forks and knives placed in their correct order beside the plates, the crystal wine glasses with the gold rims were filled halfway to the top with a dark red wine. And the candles, so many candles! There must have been at least a hundred candles all various sizes placed around the room and on the table. And there at the head of the table sat Loki dressed impeccably in a dark black three piece suit with an emerald green tie.

 

“I was gone for five minutes and you did all this?”

 

“You had a busy day it would seem so I decided to take some of the load off you, here take a seat.”

 

Getting up from his chair Loki rushes to Darcy’s side before she can sit down and holds the chair out for her himself.

 

“Thank you, this is lovely,” she says once Loki has taken his seat once more, “but I’m not exactly dressed for the occasion.”

 

“You look ravishing, my dear.”

 

“Loki I’m wearing sweatpants and a cardigan and you look like you’re about to go out to a party!”

 

Loki considers her words for a second and takes a long sip of his wine. “What would you suggest?”

 

Darcy thinks for a minute before settling on a decision. “I want to wear what the women on Asgard wear, something fancy though nothing casual. I want to look better than you,”

 

“You could be wearing a rag and you would look better than me but I shall see to it,”

 

Loki raises his hand slightly and with a flick of his wrist Darcy’s clothes begin to change. What once was loose and cotton was now tight and silk. Loki’s changed her into a tight fitting green silk dress with a deep v-neck that is anything but a modest neckline. Wrapped around her middle is a bright gold corset that cinches her waist in and pushes up…certain assets. Around her wrist and up to her elbows were bright gold bangles piled on top of one another with green emeralds placed right in the middle of each one.

 

“Better?” he asks leaning back to admire his handiwork.

 

“Much, thank you Loki it’s beautiful.”

 

“A beautiful dress for a beautiful girl, now eat before your food gets cold unfortunately my magic can only go so far in regards to keeping your meal warm.”

 

They eat in comfortable silence for the first half of the meal and by the end they find themselves engaged in equally comfortable small talk. They talk of everything and of nothing, she asks about his time in the lab today and he asks her about her time in the gym with Clint. She talks about the dreams she had last night about the two of them sailing in the big open water, he tells her about the times when he was younger and his mother used to take him fishing among the river that flowed throughout the city. They tell stories like this back and forth until Darcy’s head feels fuzzy and the walls begin to look like snakes slithering.

 

“I think I’m drunk!” she declared sometime much later.

 

“You have drunk a significant amount,” Loki replies holding up the two empty wine bottles, “would you like to lie down?”

 

Shaking her head Darcy slowly begins to push herself up off her chair and stumbles over to Loki. “I’ll only lie down if it’s you who gets to lie on top of me.”

 

“Are you asking if I want to make love to you tonight?” Loki asks with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Are you suggesting it, oh great love of mine?” she asks laughing.

 

“Yes,” Loki replies with no hesitation, “yes Darcy a thousand times yes.”

 

She leans in close to him and rests her forehead against his. “Then what are you waiting for? I’m yours,”

 

He wastes no time pressing his lips onto hers. Her kisses are sloppy and her tongue tastes heavily of wine but it’s just as perfect as every other time. She wastes no time trying to work the buttons on his shirt just as he wastes none doing the same to her.

 

“You better not rip my dress,” she whispers into his ear, “I don’t have another one like it.”

 

“I’ll get you another thousand if that’s what you want.”

 

“Perhaps later, now I want you.”

 

Her hands are clumsy working the buttons and it seems like forever before she’s finally able to shrug the expensive cloth off him. She works her hands around his perfectly sculpted marble chest running her fingers over his taught muscles and down below where she begins work on his belt.

 

Her mind is swimming and fuzzy so much so that everything blurs together into one, the feel of the cold wood against her bare back as Loki lays her down in the centre of the table, his fingers running through her hair scraping her scalp and pulling her locks gently, his tongue running across her lips, running down her throat and down to her breasts where he takes a minute and kisses the ample flesh and just below her nipples until they’re both hard under his mouth. Taking his hands he pushes both her breasts together and licks a straight line across her chest starting at her left nipple and onto the right one. He teases her like this for a few moments licking and kissing her before moving down the curve of her waist and finally down deep below reaching her centre.

 

His tongue is magnificent as it swirls around her clit and his fingers are even cleverer as they dip inside her plunging and twisting in and out making her pant and moan out his name. The sensation is one she’s sure she’ll never get over; the way his fingers dip in and out of her, twist side to side with the rhythmic tongue movements sends chills down her spine and lust coursing through her whole body. She wants to tell him how magnificent he is but the second she opens her mouth to speak Loki gives a quick flick of his wrist and she’s sent over the edge. It seems like no time has passed before the waves of her orgasm run through her body at an intensity she’d never before experienced. The way Darcy throws her head back against the table, the way she arches her back and reaches both hands up to her face, one hand running through her hair tugging on the ends and the other clamps into a fist locked tightly between her teeth as to stop her from screaming out, all send Loki into a frenzy and all he could think about how beautiful she looks when her skin is flushed an orgasmic pink and how good he feels inside her.

 

Wordlessly Loki leans forward across the table and grabs both of Darcy’s wrists in his right hand and perhaps a little too forcefully pulls her up into a sitting position so they’re sitting face to face. Her eyes are still closed as he leans down and presses his lips down onto hers and wraps his hands around either side of her small porcelain neck. There’s nothing more in the world right now that Loki wants more than to wrap his arms around her and take her right here right now on this table and he almost does but then he remembers what’s to come in the next few days and decides to suppress the urge and take his time for Darcy. It’s always for Darcy.

 

He waits until her tongue traces a light pattern against his lower lip before he deepens the kiss and waits until Darcy reaches down between him and takes his member in hand and gently gives him three quick pumps until it’s suddenly all too much.

 

“I want this, I want you.” Loki whispers into Darcy’s ear, his voice deep with lust.

 

“Then take me, I’m yours,” she replies opening her eyes to look into his icy blue pools, “always have been, always will.”

 

He picks her up and without word transports them to his bedroom and onto his bed- no their bed. They don’t say anything for the rest of the night; instead their communication is supplied through moans, groans and deep heavy breaths. It seems like hours go by while they’re connected as one, how much time has passed they can’t tell but that’s okay because they have each other and for the first time in a long time everything feels alright.

 

He props himself up on his elbows and presses his forehead against Darcy’s, a small gesture he finds so much comfort in lately and with his left hand brushes the stray hairs out of her face so he can stare at her and watch as he pushes himself into her slick wet folds.

 

God she feels go good around him and god damn it she’s so beautiful in these moments, the way her eyes roll back in her head when he hits that certain spot, or the way she places her hands around his hips to bring him closer to her and how when she’s close she’ll dig her nails into his sides hard enough to leave marks and occasionally draw blood. Tonight, he’s glad to say, is one of those nights.

 

He starts off slow making sure to take his time but before too long he can hardly contain himself and begins to thrust into Darcy harder and faster. Darcy’s moans go right through him and he can feel himself start to come undone with every moan and thrust. She’s so perfect and he wants to make this perfect for her but he’s so close he’s not sure if he can hold out anymore and just when-

 

“Loki stop,” Darcy says putting both hands roughly on his chest.

 

“What is it, is something wrong?” he asks concerned.

 

“No nothing,” she replies shaking her head, “I just wanted to do something different tonight. I just wanted to do this,”

 

Before Loki can reply Darcy rolls him over so he’s flat on his back and she’s the one on top, all the while still joined together as one. “I want to finish you off myself,” Darcy whispers locking her eyes onto Loki’s.

 

Just like Loki, Darcy starts off slow bouncing up and down making sure to take him in fully but also just like Loki she can’t contain herself and starts to speed up faster and faster until her legs start to burn and Loki’s clenched fists start to make bruises against her sides she’ll definitely feel in the morning but she’ll treasure her battle wounds from him like gold.

 

“Oh Darcy,” Loki moans under her.

 

The look on her face and his name on her lips is enough to send him right over the edge and in that moment it feels like his entire world is spiraling out of control he has to hold onto Darcy’s arms for support.

 

“Loki,” she calls out his name as her release runs through her. Loki follows behind shortly after grabbing onto Darcy’s sides slowly emptying himself into her.

 

Afterwards, once both their highs have run their course Darcy lowers herself beside Loki and cuddles up into his side placing her head on his chest listening to his breath, harsh and labored and finds comfort in that.

 

“How was-“

 

“Shh, don’t say anything just yet,” she interrupts him placing her finger over his lips, “I want to enjoy this moment right here, just us. I have a feeling we won’t be getting more of these for awhile,”

 

“Why would you say that?”

 

Darcy sighs deeply before continuing, “I’m worried about the next couple of days with everything that’s happening. I’ve been worried sick about you and Clint for a couple weeks now, literally sick! Loki I’m just worried that something’s-“

 

"Nothing will happen to me, love I promise you. You need to trust me when I say that the less you know the safer you’ll be. Do you trust me?”

 

“Yes,” she responds with no hesitation, “with my life.”

 

“Then trust in me.”

 

“Always,”

 

* * *

 

 

They fall asleep shortly after that with their limbs all tangled together not knowing where one begins and the other ends. She doesn’t dream often but tonight she does. She dreams of falling.

 

Hours later after the dream of falling has cycled through at least five times Darcy wakes with a jolt. The room is too hot and suddenly she feels the walls begin to close in on her, she barely makes it to the bathroom before she throws up everything in her stomach into the porcelain bowl and then some. Afterwards once the room stops spinning Darcy lowers herself slowly into the giant claw foot tub and turns on the taps letting the water surround her. The water is freezing but then after a minute she finds a comfortable enough temperature and lets the water fill up around her without complaint. She’s ten minutes in when she notices she’s still wearing her clothes.

 

She strips naked throwing her soaking nightgown over the edge not caring if water gets all over the floor or if she’s ruined the beautiful silk and lace by getting it wet but hardly any of that matters anymore.

 

Careful not to disturb the water too much Darcy rolls onto her side in the fetal position and cries softly letting her tears mix with the bath water. No matter how many times Loki comforts her Darcy still can’t help the feeling of dread and despair that rises from her stomach at the thought of the days to come. Shutting her eyes she says a silent prayer to the God or Gods above (not that she expects them to be listening) that they will see both Loki and Clint safe from harm and bring them back to her all in one piece.

 

When the hot water has turned to ice some time later she gets out of the tub and reaches out to grab a towel from the rack but before she can she catches her reflection in the mirror and freezes in her place. Turning to face herself front on Darcy can hardly contain the gasp that escapes her mouth.

 

She realizes that she’s been overeating these past few weeks but with all the exercise she’s been doing with Clint she thought she’d be losing weight not gaining it. Yet there it was. What was once flat and toned was now stuck out and flabby, how could she have not noticed until now?

 

She doesn’t realize she’s placed both hands on her swollen abdomen until she looks down and swears she feels a kick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the HUGE delay in this chapter and the last I could go on and on I recently moved to a brand new country and started at a brand new university so that's part of the reason but here's the latest chapter!  
> Midterm week is coming up so unfortunately I have tons of ideas where I want to happen in the next chapter but haven't started writing it yet so hopefully next week or the week after you'll get something.
> 
> Little disclaimer: in the tags I have tagged this story as Non-Con and while Loki and Darcy's relationship so far has been consensual but in the last chapter the "spell" wore off Darcy and she became a completely different person who knew of her surroundings so I hope that clears up some questions there.
> 
> All mistakes are mine.


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